Aeroplane

Please observe my continental alligator skin line shoulder bag
I've covered it in stickers from far and wide
And stuffed it full of suits and matching ties

I've travelled on the seas and I've travelled on the land
And there's not a single person I can't understand
I've forgotten the languages and wave my cash
I've enjoyed every minute of it with a splash

I wear a Panama on my Brilcremed hair
I think I carry it with a certain flair
When travelling abroad I know the score
With the voice of authority from the first a-world war

I went all through to Congo on a magic pleasure knock
Staving off disease with hallucinogenic drugs
With a mind-bending root from a local native source
Made my mind and my body have a premature divorce

I felt like I was sliding from a massive height
It seemed like it was morning in the middle of the night
My eyes were open, though there's nothing much to see
A swirling mist of images

The seas are my friend and the skies my home
When clinging to the arm-rests, I travel alone
I'm always ready to give advice
Travelling companions never ask twice

I've travelled on the seas and I've travelled on the land
And there's not a single person I can't understand
I've forgotten the languages and wave my cash
I've enjoyed every minute of it with a splash

I've travelled on the seas and I've travelled on the land
And there's not a single person I can't understand
I've forgotten the languages and wave my cash
I've enjoyed every minute of it with a splash

*** All I Knew ***

Hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, ...

Here comes an honest looking man with his round face and his flat hands
See the news, there he is with the answers to the last quiz
I could never know what I then knew in a million years
I could never know what I used to in a million tears

Turn it on, we will see everything today (everything today)
Me and you will lose our marbles on the way
I'll remember you forever till the day I'm dead
I'll remember us together and the things you've said

I'll spare a penny for my thoughts
And try and work out what I've just thought
Let me think, let me think
Left swimming in an icerink

Hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, ...

I don't want to hear what someone has to say
I'll just write it down and throw it all away
I could never know what I then knew in a million years
I could never know what I used to in a million tears

Hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, ...

I'll remember you forever till the day I'm dead
I'll remember us together and the things we've said
I could never know what I then knew in a million years
I could never know what I used to in a million tears

In a million tears, tears, tears, tears, ...
In a million tears, tears, tears, tears, ...
In a million tears, tears, tears, tears, ...
In a million tears

*** Are You Coming (With Me) ***

Could it be someone's telling lies
Or could it be that I'm getting wise
Awoke myself from a nose-dive glide
I caught myself but you've lost all pride

I'm not going with you
Won't you come on with me ?

See your world in a drift fly past
So good the feeling you want to last

I'm not going with you
Would you come on with me ?

I'm not here to watch day and night
Or to hear you drift out of life

If I could wake you
A moment I would
Share you my lifeline
Feed you some good
If I could wake you
A moment I would
Share you my lifeline
Feed you some (good)

I'm worried for you
But you not for me

When everyone's living
I know where you'll be

If I should listen to your proposal
Put my future at your disposal

Promise me you'll keep yourself clean
Cut yourself from your mid-day dream.

If I could wake you
A moment I would
Share you my lifeline
Feed you some good
If I could wake you
A moment I would
Share you my lifeline and
Feed you some good

*** Baggy Trousers ***

Naughty boys in nasty schools
Headmasters breaking all the rules
Having fun and playing fools
Smashing up the woodwork tools
All the teachers in the pub
Passing 'round the ready-rub
Trying not to think of when
The lunch-time bell will ring again.

Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.

Headmaster's had enough to-day
All the kids have gone away
Gone to fight with next-door's school
Every term, that is the rule
Sits alone and bends his cane
Same old backsides again
All the small ones tell tall tales
Walking home and squashing snails.

Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.

Lots of girls and lots of boys
Lots of smells and lots of noise
Playing football in the park
Kicking Pushbikes after dark
Baggy trousers, dirty shirt
Pulling hair and eating dirt
Teacher comes to break it up
Back of the 'ead with a plastic cup.

Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.

Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers
Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers

*** Bed And Breakfast Man ***

Well there's a man I know
At least I used to years ago
I didn't really mind
He used to come 'round all the time

Of course he had to be fed
I had to give him a bed
He used to kip on my sofa
They used to call him a loafer

I've heard he's changed
A lot since then
But some of his ways
He just can't mend

Told the other day
That he'd offered to pay
He didn't like his dad
He earned all he ever had

He didn't have no shame
He was a master at his game
He never showed his hand
He was the bed and breakfast man

He was, he was the bed and breakfast man...

*** Believe Me ***

Everything that I tell you, girl, every word that you hear
Every little whisper, let me make myself clear
There ain't no lies to deceive you, I love you too much for that
Every word that I say is true, you can believe me on that

My friends tell me jealous lies
Now I'm getting my goodbyes

Life without you, my dear
Was dull, as dull as can be
I ask you, my love, why not take me now
Not to leave me in misery

Saxophone!

If you take in all they say,
I guess I'll be on my way
Please, my darling, it's not true
I don't know this girl called Sue

Sue's a name I have not heard
I lost my girl from that one word
Will she come back, I just don't know
And I'm takin' a heavy blow, oh

I've got myself together
I can't go on in this cold weather
Christmas comes but once a year
It's a time of love and cheer

Your friends tell you jealous lies
Now I'm getting my goodbyes

No no no no, no no no no
No no no no, no no no no

*** Benny Bullfrog ***

So there I am polished heart throat in full puff
I look the part my wad is packed to reimburse.
I've yet to re-rehearse many moons spent on lovelines lent from
Long-legged pop-eyed fat-necked Benny Bullfrog.

Final run-through polish up
The flower of love's my buttercup.
Moon in June for you I'll croon
Just like pop-eyed fat-necked Benny Bullfrog.

Mean piece of muscle I'm Melvin Toad,
I dice with death, across the road.
Hop aboard my lover's leap
Fat-necked Quatermass
Who needs a Benny Bullfrog.

Here she comes (Keep a cool head)
My legs numb (Keep a cool head)
I can't run (Keep a cool head)
High! My name's Hunky how d'you do
I catch a fly in one swoop
I catch a fly just for you
That's if you do want me to
But you're not hungry I know
A sixth sense gave me a clue.
I know what else we can do.
(You creep !)

Long-legged pop-eyed fat-necked Benny Bullfrog.

Wish I was Benny Bullfrog
Cool as Benny Bullfrog
What's the secret, Bullfrog?

*** Blue Skinned Beast ***

I can fly you to your loved ones but I can promise no return
To a shell-shocked God forsaken where their craters still they burn
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me

Still the worst is over that I hope you understand
The you're one more hurdle over our protector of the land
Have a drink on me
I put it down to the company

Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !
Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !

Here you have this medal you can even melt it down
Or frame it in the living room every time you turn around
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me

I heard you shout for yesterday, but I was sleeping on the job
And I dreamt of fighters miles away whose lives I had to rob
Have a drink on me
I put it down to the company

Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !
Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !

Here you have this medal you can even melt it down
Or frame it in the living room every time you turn around

I can fly your loved ones to you
With guarantee of no return
And if John Wayne's dummy's bounce off
Don't look shocked when it comes your turn
Have a drink on me
I put it down to company

Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !
Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !

Hip hip !
Hip hip !
Hip hip hip hip !
Hip hip !

Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !
Hip hip hip hip !
Hip hip !

Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !
Three cheers to the blue skinned beast hip hip hip hip !
To the blue skinned beast hip hip !

*** Brand New Beat ***

More leverage was passed today
From the radio I heard him say
I fixed another lock on my toilet door
House to house checks will commence throughout

Looking at my prize possessions
Trying to remember which ones I own
I could be up for a week's detention
Without a line I could die in there

Another law was passed today
Cut price bullets in your hardware store
And to pass your time of stay
Life size cutouts are your target score

Throwing open the windows
And screaming down the street
Eight o'clock and all is well
Until the brand new beat
Can you smell the brand new beat

Star shaped badge that shines upon
Comes free in your bumper pack
But if it's left around too long
It'll burn right through to your back

Throwing open the windows
And screaming down the street
Eight o'clock and all is well
Until the brand new beat
Can you smell the brand new beat

Shipped direct via the Isle of Man
The money maker shows his face
He breeds his fear across the land
Then casts off without a trace

Eight o'clock and all is well
Until the brand new beat
You can smell the brand new beat
Can you hear the brand new beat
You can hear the brand new beat
Can you smell the brand new beat

*** Burning The Boats ***

The government have announced
That London Bridge is to be closed
Under the full moon of May the third
All the light houses and seaside roads
No I never heard I never read in the news
Come on tell me, who's this for ?
Lighting the questions and
Burning the boats one by one
Burning the boats one by one by
Tap, tap, tap, birds that sing,
Telephone calls that do not ring,
One, two, three, what's the time ?
Who's that hanging off my line ?
I know that nothing lasts for ever
And I'm just waiting for the sun to set
Blowing dust from my loud hailer, on the roof.
Come on tell me, who's this for ?
Lighting the questions and
Burning the boats one by one
Burning the boats one by one
Burning the boats one by one by
The ministry of co-operation
Are washed and hanging on the line
There's a million burning questions
To set the Thames alight
Now I've joined an exclusive club
Just by being more than poor
I saw the deputy chairman, on the floor.
Come on tell me, who's this for ?
Lighting the questions and
Burning the boats one by one
Burning the boats one by one
Burning the boats one by one by
Burning the boats one by one
Burning the boats.

*** Calling Cards ***

A sorting office in the Old Kent Road
Caters from coast to most
A nice little number if you're out of work
And aren't the sort to boast,
you're in need of a job, bob-a-job, rob-a-job
I'm your man to see
I'll sit I'll listen I'll not say a word
The less said would be best for we

Ooh, what a firm of naughty boys
Ooh, I've been a naughty boy

We don't want to mark each other's card
Except the one you need
I need you and your returns to help
Build my company.
My twins work Brighton on a sunny day
They cover town with the shake of a hand
On a high come back coz of no come back
Now they're working in the promised land.

Ooh, what a pair of naughty boys
Ooh, I've been a naughty boy

(The Allied Irish Cyprus Bank)
(India Bank Bank of Turkey)
(United Bank The People's Bank)
(To catch the worm you got to be up early)

Temporarily out of bounds had to move office
Clear out of town
For every problem there's a solution and
I can do without constitution
Dealing cards from up the Old Kent Road
I've been checked up on my heavy load
You can go but be back soon
I'll have some work for you to groom.

Ooh, what a lot of naughty boys
Ooh, I've been a naughty boy

(Trustees Bank, Barclays Bank)
(The Natwest Bank, Midland Bank)
(Bank Of Scotland, Williams and Glyns)
(Bureau de Change, The People's Bank)

Ooh, what a lot of naughty boys
Ooh, what a pair of naughty boys
Ooh, what a firm of naughty boys
Ooh, I've been a naughty boy

*** Call Me ***

I have a feeling for you son
I know you think the battle's lost
And that your thoughts are on the run
And you'll never meet the cost

I have a feeling for you girl (girl)
And though you're walking in a storm
Alone you may be cold
But together we'll be warm

And now the room is emptied, and now the phone is cold
And as the hours are passing, so the day grows old
And as the light is fading, don't breathe another sigh
And if you think of calling, don't let me pass you by

Tomorrow there will be no rain
Tomorrow there'll be no more pain
Tomorrow if you feel the same
Call me, call me

Here's to everybody torn up by friends
Here's to the evenings that never ever end
Here's to all the things we wished we'd never done
Here's to the summers with no sun
Here's to all the tramps, the beggars, and the rich
Here's to the fishers with no fish
Here's to all the faces with no names
All the passengers on this train

Tomorrow there will be no rain
Tomorrow there'll be no more pain
Tomorrow if you feel the same
Call me, (won't you) call me

I have a feeling in my bones
That I've been this way before
And if I'm ever here again
Washed up outside your door

(Why don't you) Call me, call me
Call me
Call me, call me, call me, call me, call me

*** Cardiac Arrest ***

Papers in the morning
Bowler hat on head
Walking to the bus stop
He's longing for his bed,
Waiting with his neighbours
In the rush hour queue
Got to get the first bus
So much for him to do.
He's got to hurry
Got to get his seat
Can't miss his place
Got to rest his feet.

Ten more minutes till he gets there
The crossword's nearly done.
It's been so hard these days
Not nearly so much fun.
His mind wanders to the office
His telephone, desk and chair
He's been happy with the company
They've treated him real fair.
Think of seven letters
Begin and end in 'C'
Like a big American car
But misspelt with a 'D'.
I wish this bus'd get a move on,
Driver's taking his time.
I just don't know, I'll be late
Oh dear what will the boss say?
Pull yourself together now
Don't get in a state

Don't you worry
There's no hurry
It's a lovely day
Could all be going your way
Take the doc's advice
Let up enjoy your life
Listen to what they say
It's not a game they play.

Never get there at this rate
He's caught up in a jam.
There's a meeting this morning
It's just his luck oh damn!
His hand dives in his pocket
For his handkerchief.
Pearls of sweat on his collar
His pulse-beat seems so brief.
Eyes fall on his wristwatch
The seconds pass real slow
Gasping for the hot air
But the chest pain it won't go.
Tried to ask for help
But can't seem to speak a word,
Words are whispered frantically
But don't seem to be heard.
What about the wife and kids?
They all depend on me!

We're so sorry
We told you not to hurry.
Now it's just too late
You've got a certain date
We thought we made it clear
We all voiced our inner fears
We left it up to you
There's nothing we can do.

*** Chipmunks Are Go! ***

One, two, three, four
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
We're the Chipmunks, hear us roar
WE'RE THE CHIPMUNKS, HEAR US ROAR
Sound off, CHIPMUNKS
Sound off, CHIPMUNKS
One, two, three, four
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
One, two, three, four
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
One, two, THREE, FOUR

D'you have a good time tonight, boys?
YEP, WE SURE DID
Do you think the time is right, boys?
YEP, WE SURE DO
Sound off, CHIPMUNKS
Sound off, CHIPMUNKS
One, two, three, four
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
One, two, three, four
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
One, two, THREE, FOUR

Chipmunks are go!

*** Close Escape ***

That was a close escape, have to get a new hobby to relate.
Something less conspicuous, won't take up too much time,
something less energetic, for what I've got in mind.
I won't be too persistant 'cos I'm not that way inclined.
See, that's the one for me. Look under "Collins" see if she's free.
Sweaty fingers find 5p 4151683
"Hello Miss Collins you'll not know me. I'm in the undies
buisness, see? Please please can you tell me the size; how
far from the knee?"

Oh dear dear, me luck is running thin.
I'll take another name I might have a win.
What? 2 more points? I hope no one fills it in.

See, that's the one for me. Look under "Dickens" CFG.
See if she'll speak to me. Hand's get shakey eye's can't see.
Having trouble find 5p 2171983
"Hello Miss Dickens you'll not know me, I'm in the undies
buisness, see?"

Feel more relaxed now here we go again.
Hoi! No temporaries I've heard most take me in.

Oh dear dear me, that is the one it fits.
So please please can you tell me the textured fit feels good to me.
In the naked mood, try to grin and bear with me.
Please don't think me rude, I only hear don't want to see.

See, that's the one for me. That was quick, too quick for me.
Of that I can see, wash me laundry oh bugger me!
Sugar or milk with your tea? No I couldn't, well I'll see.
What's your hobby? Just the same as me, see you soon for tea.

I'll give it one last chance I think you'll all agree.
I'm getting nowhere here, on my last 5p.
I'm sick of waiting for ages nothing interests me.
I'll ring another number, make sure it's a she.
Here we go again, I'll give it 3rd degree.
No hard feelings oh yes I'm sure you'll all agree.
I'll take another name I might have a win.

*** Coldest Day ***

No I never heard through the grapevine
How you left long before your time
But in France on the radio
I could not understand a word
But I felt you go
We waited all night for the midnight lover's calling
It was the coldest day of the year
And I'm still thawing
I didn't sleep a wink
But while radio played
I was day dreaming
Of what might have been
While the cold night air was freezing
The coldest night
The coldest day of the year
What is happening mother father please
Who will save us from the autumn breeze
Shivering to a halt no one wants to speak too soon
Although we all knew under the pale blue moon
The pale moon
The pale blue moon
What happens then when the sun goes down
Tell me what's the word Johannesburg
When the rent goes up and the lights go down
On the coldest day outside the coldest town
We waited all night and I'm still falling
I didn't sleep a wink
But while radio played
I was day dreaming
Of what might have been
While the cold night air was freezing
The coldest night
The coldest day of the year
The coldest night
The coldest day of the year
The coldest night, day, year.

*** Crying Shame ***

I cried all night just thinking of you
I wonder now what Im going to do
Since you left me for that friend of mine
Every second is just crying time
I cry cos my heart is in pain
I cry though I know its in vain
But knowing this I cry all the same
I wake at night Crying out your name

You said that you'd never leave
I never listened that you were a tease
People talk about me behind my back
They dont understand its the passion they lack

People go around and whisper my name
They think its a laugh because I never complain
But to my face they are always the same
They dont understand its a crying shame

you always sais that you needed me,
Exactly what for I find it hard to see

I've sat up all night wishing you were still mine
Now I understand theres better things to do with my Time

I cry cos my heart is in pain
I cry though I know its in vain
But knowing this I cry all the same
I wake at night Crying out your name

I cry each night with tears in my eyes
I cant believe you are telling me lies
People go around whispering my name
Dont they know its a crying Shame

I cry cos my heart is in pain
I cry though I know its in vain
But knowing this I cry all the same
I wake at night Crying out your name