*** Day On The Town ***

Summer in London, watery sunshine,
A place in the city where I can go sometimes.
To get on a red bus and go anywhere,
See all the sights and not pay the fare,
Summer in London.

Chip on your shoulder, chips in your mouth,
Can you see the old lady, with tickets to tout.
Getting the tourists into their traps,
Taking their money, the shirts off their backs,
Summer in London.

To get in a taxi and go anywhere,
Jump out at the park and not pay the fare.
Watch Speakers Corner, listen to their talk,
Eating their ice creams, going for a walk.

Summer in London, the weather man said,
Waking up late, got to get out of bed.
So much to do, got to go everywhere
A day on the town and not pay the fare.
Riots in London.

*** Decieves The Eye ***

In the earliest days of my shoplifting career,
You could safely say I was filled with fear.
It was nail biting work from the very start,
But several quick sucesses soon gave me heart.
After a while I could pick or nick or steal,
Some shirts some trousers and a few LPs.
No-one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care.
It sometimes seemed to me that there was no-one there.

Then a fine summers day my mates and me,
Set off down the westend on our usual spree.
Things were as normal for an hour or so,
Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow.
Two store detectives made a fast approach,
One grabbed my jacket (you're nicked!)
The other grabbed my throat.
So they caught me at last, one said with joy:
"You'll have to do some time, my light fingered boy!"

If only I'd remembered my common sense,
They captured me red-handed with evidence.
If I go to the manager and say I'm sorry,
Maybe he'll forgive me for my youthful folly.

But what will me social worker say,
If I don't come home today?
He'll give me a clout!
What if they don't let me out?
I told him I'm on me own!
Don't they understand?
I'm from a broken home!

I'll tell them I'm the product of a broken home,
And I always went out on my own.
Was it too late to say I'd pay,
And I'll never steal again 'till the end of my days?
Because I have no friends to call as such,
Money and posessions I did not have much,
So I started to steal in order to get by.
The quickness of the hand deceives the eye.
deceives the eye the eye the eye...

*** Dissapear ***

Walls signed with autographs,
Ceilings full of echoed laughs,
Something's disappear.
Gurus on roller skates,
Capital for swinging fetes
The area is to be cleared.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to its grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
Organ tinkling organ,
Marriage planning children,
Spinning, round and round.
rusty swings and roundabouts,
Disco's full of layabouts,
Nowhere to be found.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to its grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
Come on then we'll go down there,
Let's see the local ash tray,
Let's see if we can be happy,
We'll mess about just you and me,
I must try to make it home before tea.
Walls signed with autographs,
Ceilings full of echoed laughs,
Something's disappear.
Gurus on roller skates,
Capital for swinging fetes
The area is to be cleared.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to it's grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.
A stab in the back, the smoke and the black
As it smoulders to its grave.
Disappear with the fun and the fear
Another chance to misbehave.

*** Don't Look Back ***

You cant help the way you feel
But realise that this is real...

Look Back.....

You cant help the way you feel
But realise that this is real...

Are you satisfied?

*** Don't Quote Me On That ***

It's all Eggs Bacon Beans and a Fried Slice.

Did you see the one, yeah yeah,
The one they wrote in the paper just the other day,
well, well would you believe it,
Well what I said, they took it all the wrong way.
Now you've gotta be careful, 'bout what you say,
Cos they've got a bad habit
Were you reading in between the lines?
Or is that what I said?, now I just cant remember
They seem to have a very good memory though
But as far as Im concerned, as as far as Im concerned
You don;t have to be black white, chinese or anything really
Just enjoy, shut up, listen and dance...

Its all eggs bacon beans and a fried slice

Dont Quote me on that, dont quote me on that
Dont Quote me on that, please dont quote me
Dont Quote me on that
Dont Quote me on that

Hey Hey, you know something, I said I liked that guy,
but thats not what I read in the paper
I dont have anything against them,
Its just eggs bacon and a fried slice

Dont Quote me on that dont quote me on that
Dont Quote me on that please dont quote me
Dont Quoe me on that
Dont Quote me on that.
You know, now we get worried about what we say
We shouldnt be that way
You know, I don't care who comes,
cos as far as im concerned,
Its, eggs bacon beans and a fried slice

Dont quote Me on that
Dontr quote me on that
Please dont quote me

Mama mama, you know I'm still friends with Mickey
they say I shouldnt like him anymore, because I'm all white,
Well he's allright by me

Dont Quote me on that
Please dont quote me
Dont quote me on that
Dont quote me on that

Now what I do, I bring all my old friends along to see the show
and if you have the wrong ideas well,

Its all eggs bacon beans and a fried slice

Dont quote me on that oh no
(dont quote me on that)
Please dont quote me
(dont quote me on that)
I never said that
(dont quote me on that)
thats not what I meant
(dont quote me on that)
well I suppose you could take it that way
(dont quote me on that)
But thats not what I meant to say
(dont quote me on that)
wont you give me another chance
(dont quote me on that)

Please Please
Dont quote Me On That....

Id like to say thank you to Pete, Peter tosh

And all the other people who come and they believe in us for the fun and the music
Cos all I've got to say to you press now is
Its all bacon beans and a fried slice

Eggs bacon beans and a fried slive
Go to Maggies caff
132 Liverpool road
Just down the road, just round the corner
Only theres not much corner
Its just chairs and tables and they've even got a space invaders machine...
A cup of tea, thats fine for me,
Cos it's all eggs bacon beans and a fried slive

Are you sure you turned that tape recorder off?
Are you sure?,
Are you sure?

*** Driving In My Car ***

I've been driving in my car, it's not quite a Jaguar
I bought it in Primrose Hill from a bloke from Brazil
It was made in fifty-nine in a factory by the Tyne
It says Morris on the door, the G.P.O. owned it before
I drive in it for my job, the governor calls me a slob
But I don't really care, give me some gas and the open air

It's a bit old but it's mine, I mend it in my spare time
Just last week I changed the oil, the rocker valves and the coil
Just last week I changed the oil
Last week it went round the clock, I also had a little knock
I dented somebody's fender, he learnt not to park on a bender, ha ha ha

I've been driving in my car, it don't look much but I've been far
I drive up to Muswell Hill, I've even been to Selsey Bill
I drove along the A45, I had her up to 58
This copper stopped me the other day, you're mistaken what could I say
The tyres were a little worn, they were O.K., I could have sworn
I like driving in my car, I'm satisfied I've got this far

I like driving in my car, it don't look much but I've been far
I like driving in my car, even with a flat tyre
I like driving in my car, it's not quite a Jaguar
I like driving in my car, I'm satisfied I've got this far

*** Embarrasment ***

You're not to come and see us no more,
Keep away from our door,
Don't come 'round here no more
What on earth did you do that for?

Our aunt, she don't wanna know she says,
What will the neighbours think they'll think,
We don't that's what they'll think, we don't,
But I will, 'cause I know they think I don't.

Our uncle he don't wanna know he says,
We are a disgrace to the human race he says,
How can you show your face,
When you're a disgrace to the human race?

No committment, you're an embarrassment,
Yes, an embarrassment, a living endorsement,
The intention that you have booked,
Was an intention that was overlooked.

They say, stay away,
Don't want you home today,
Keep away from our door,
Don't come 'round here no more.

Our dad, he don't wanna know he says,
This is a serious matter,
Too late to reconsider,
No one's gonna wanna know ya !

Our mum, she don't wanna know,
I'm feelin' twice as old, she says,
Thought she had a head on her shoulder,
'Cause I'm feelin' twice as older,
I'm feelin' twice as older.

You're an embarrassment...

*** Ernie ***

I am the bringer of your wishes,
Your saviour from doing work,
The washer of your dishes,and
You'll still get you mid-day perk.
Estate agent,
Your mansion and pot of gold,
All the home comforts,
Before you're getting tired and old.

One more try,
Try to get what you've never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that can't be bad.
We can't all win,
Look it's happening,
The future's looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.

So when you hear me coming,
Along halls and up the stairs,
Get the black teapot,
In the cupboard, under chairs,
Forget all your wives tales,
Or forecasts and dividends,
E.R.N.I.E. feels vibrations,
Only pays out to trusting friends.

One more try,
Try to get what you've never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that can't be bad.
We can't all win,
Look it's happening,
The future's looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.

Keep your hand on the bottle,
And your eyes glued upon the set,
When the score cards come up,
Could be you for the big one next.
Publicity, no thank you,
On the front page of the currant bun,
They think you stink,
But in the pub you'll be number one.

One more try,
Try to get what you've never had,
Five more bob,
For the whole world that can't be bad.
We can't all win,
Look it's happening,
The future's looking not so bleak,
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.
A thousand winners every week.

*** Fireball XL5 ***

I've saved a little bit of money from Christmas gone,
What with my Birthday nearly due,
I'm dressing up as Guy in the shopping arcade,
Have you a penny for a boy named blue ?

I've seen it advertised on TV shows,
Flashed up on the evening news,
My local M.P. said I should grin and bear it,
But I'd rather go and blow her fuse,

Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.

Let me tell you a little tale of naughty's,
On the estate I used to loathe,
I aimed 30 rockets at a Shilling each,
You should have seen their front door's go,

Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Let it talk CB

Fireball XL sitting in the window,
Just waiting for a match to come,
You're looking so so sad in your pretty coloured frock,
Don't let that make up on your eye balls run.

I got my little lot of money from a cherished friend,
His name was piggy but he wasn't to know,
He hit my god-damn hammer like a wall of bricks,
You should have seen his pig tail go,

Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.
Right on, right off!
Right off, right on.

Fireball XL propped up at my window,
Wondering what on earth it's to do!
Now that it's gone from the window of the shopping arcade,
Everybody's looking for a boy named blue.

Blue who ?
Blue who ?
Blue who ?
Blue who ?

Quack, quack, quack, quack.
Oink, oink, oink, oink.
Woof, woof, woof, woof.
Bridit, bridit, bridit, bridit.
Albert, albert.
Don't call us we'll call you.

*** Give Me A Reason ***

Well we change from one extreme to another
Can you help me with my shame
I didn't mean to when I kicked and punched
From nowhere this demon came

Forgive me for this mindless mood
Accept this honest plea
Don't use me for the devil's food
And throw away the key

Give me a reason so I've got
Someone else to blame
Give me the reason so I've got
Something else to blame

I only meant to wipe away the cries
With the softness of my hand
I didn't mean to break the tie
I'm after all a family man

Give me a reason so I've got
Someone else to blame
Give me the reason so I've got
Something else to blame

Give me the reason
Give me a reason

I am the master of this house
Don't try to run away
I tried the same things at your age
And I was also made to pay

Forgive me for this mindless mood
Accept this honest plea
Don't use me for the devil's food
And throw away the key

Mister patience and Misses alike
Upon and throughout the land
A lot of attention
With a heap of affection
Wouldn't go astray

Give me a reason so I've got
Someone else to blame
Give me the reason so I've got
Something else to blame

This is the reason, one of the reasons

I am the reason so I've got only myself to blame
I am the reason so I've got no-one else to blame

*** Grey Day ***

When I get home it's late at night,
I'm black and bloody from my life,
I haven't time to clean my hands,
Cuts will only sting me through my dreams.

It's well past midnight as I lie
In a semi-conscious state.
I dream of people fighting me
Without any reason I can see.

In the morning I awake,
My arms my legs my body aches,
The sky outside is wet and grey
So begins another weary day.
So begins another weary day.

After eating I go out,
People passing by me shout.
I can't stand this agony
Why don't they talk to me?

In the park I have to rest
I lie down and I do my best,
The rain is falling on my face
I wish I could sink without a trace.

In the morning I awake,
My arms my legs my body aches,
The sky outside is wet and grey,
So begins another weary day.
So begins another weary day.

In the park I have to rest
I lie down and I do my best,
The rain is falling on my face
I wish I could sink without a trace.

In the morning I awake,
My arms my legs my body aches,
The sky outside is wet and grey,
So begins another weary day.
So begins another weary day.

*** House Of Fun ***

Good morning miss
Can I help you son?
Sixteen today
And up for fun
I'm a big boy now
Or so they say
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Box of balloons
With the feather-light touch
Pack of party-poppers
That pop in the night
A toothbrush and hairspray
Plastic grin
Miss Clay on all corners
Has just walked in

Welcome to the House of Fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the House of Fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of

N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
I'm up to date
And the date's today
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Welcome to the House of Fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of (Fun)

I'm sorry son
But we don't stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Try the House of Fun
It's quicker if you run
This is a chemist's
Not a joke shop!

Party hats
Simple enough clear
Comprehende savvy understand
Do you hear?
A pack of party hats
With the coloured tips
Too late!
Gorgon heard gossip
Well hello Joe, hello Miss Clay
Many happy returns from the day

Welcome to the House of Fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the House of Fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of Fun

Welcome to the House of Fun...

*** I'll Compete ***

I'll be your promotional copy in this here number one band
Take your business beyond your furthest dreams sounds
Sounds great sounds really grand but wait
Let us hurry now time is catching up
And it looks like the music hall race has caught me up

But I'll compete (yeah yeah)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (with the rest of the pack)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (on the beat)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (with a full deck)
For all that I'm worth

I'll be your popswop, come floppy disc, race you along the upper deck
Retrieve from you my with-held treasure,
Then watch you sink with you sunken rotting wreck,
Let us hurry now, time is running out,
Let's not forget time is money said the business man to his faithful scout.

But I'll compete (in the national press)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (with the back chat)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (on the beat)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (international)
For all that it's worth

We must hurry now time is closing in
And I'm getting no younger in fact
I'm five years closer to my pension scheme

But I'll compete (yeah yeah)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (for the ratings)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (on the beat)
For all that it's worth
I'll compete (with the rest of the pack)
For all that I'm worth

C-c-c-c-compete
C-c-c-c-compete

*** In The City ***

He is just a boy in the city
Dressed the same he's uniformly pretty
He knows it's the time
He can read the signs
He can really change
In the city

The best dressed boy in town he thinks it's funny
Half a dozen jobs makes his money
He is just a boy in the city
Friday night propels Walter Mitty
It's about time
He can read the signs
A night on the town
In the city

Monday is a work day
Tuesday's much the same
Wednesday comes and goes away
Thursday's back again

Friday night is Sunday in the morning
Monday brings the weekend's final yawning
Now it's about time
He has crossed the line
He is miles away
In the city

(City!)

(City!)

(City!)

(City!)

Now it's about time
He can read the signs
He can really change
It is on his mind
He has crossed the line
He has gone once more
From the city

*** In The Middle Of The Night ***

Nice man George, newsagent on the corner,
Not very rich, but never any poorer,
Jaunty old George, a happy sixty-three,
Not very tall, but healthier than me.
He whistles timeless tunes as he saunters down the street,
Springs in his legs and elastic in his feet.

But in the middle of the night,
He steals through your garden,
Gives your hosiery a fright,
And doesn't say pardon.
As soft as a breeze,
With an arm full of underwear,
On his hands and knees,
Dreams about the knicker scare.

Hello there George, newsagent on the corner,
How's the old car, yes the climate's getting warmer,
Chatty old George as you get your morning paper,
Read about the knicker thief, underwear taker.
Bids you 'Good day', as you wander out the door,
Never closes early, always cleans the floor.

But when darkness hits the town,
And there's washing on your line,
Get your knickers down,
Before the dreaded sign.
When the clock strikes eight,
And you're snuggled up in bed,
He'll be at the garden gate,
Filling underwear with dread.

Nice man George, newsagent on the corner,
He was closed today, maybe gone to mow the lawn,
I had to go further down the road to get me current bun,
Hello - Isn't that George on page one ?
No it couldn't be, but yes it is,
Difficult to see from these photofits.

But they are after him,
Of that you can be sure,
They've called him on the phone,
They've knocked on his door.
a-But he's gone away,
Gone to stay with some mates,
He got the papers early,
And saw his own face.

*** In The Rain ***

There is such confusion in my mind
To play your illusion is so unkind
I didnt know who you were this afternoon
You said that it didnt matter and I'll see you soon

Standing here in the rain, Maybe the weather will change again
Change again it'll stay the bleeding same

How I met you in the first place I'll never know
But now I think I know you you;re telling me to go
You said you'd be back told me to wait here just incase
But then you never arrived and I'm waiting outside your place

Standing here in the rain, Maybe the weather will change again
Change again it'll stay the bleeding same

Standing here in the rain, Maybe the weather will change again
Change again it'll stay the bleeding same

There is such confusion in my mind
To play your illusion is so unkind
I didnt know who you were this afternoon
You said that doesnt matter Ill see you soon

Standing here in the rain, Maybe the weather will change again
Change again it'll stay the bleeding same
Shame

*** It Must Be Love ***

I never thought I'd miss you
Half as much as I do
And I never thought I'd feel this way
The way I feel
About you
As soon as I wake up
Every night, every day
I know that it's you I need
To take the blues away

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

How can it be that we can
Say so much without words?
Bless you and bless me
Bless the bees
And the birds
I've got to be near you
Every night, every day
I couldn't be happy
Any other way

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

As soon as I wake up
Every night, every day
I know that it's you I need
To take the blues away

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

It must be love, love, love...